Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Day 16: Man in the Mirror
In every voice lesson, Katie makes me sing while looking in the mirror. Like many students, I do not enjoy this. It makes me self conscious. I am supposed to notice the shape of my mouth and jaw while looking for any tension anywhere else in my face. Like most women, I find it difficult to not scold myself when looking in the mirror. Ridiculous, really. Today, because I wanted to make my practice really count, I practiced for 30 minute while looking in the mirror. I told myself I would not berate myself for any reason and I would look at myself in the way I would look at any other student. That is, without judgment. It took a few minutes, but after that, I was really working. The moment any self criticism came up, I reminded myself that I was practicing. And I always tell students that you are supposed to make mistakes when you practice, and then work to fix them, so what's the big deal? Finally, I am learning to take my own advice.
It was interesting to examine myself as if I were one of my students. To look at myself and strip away the personal judgement was empowering. It was a successful practice because even though I made many, many mistakes, I didn't beat myself up over it. I told myself to try again, and eventually I got the sound I wanted. All it took was accepting myself the way I am in this current moment.