Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Still Here, Just Waiting

I hate it when a whole week goes by and I don't have an idea for a blog post. So far I have had nothing to say for two weeks. I have been quiet in my personal life too. Lately, I find it easier to listen than to speak. I find myself unwilling to use my voice unless it is absolutely necessary. In the past two weeks, I have only written one song. Something is definitely up, but I am not sure what it is.

I remember when I was a kid, I found inspiration everywhere. It was a rare moment when I had anything critical to say about any particular song or artist and I loved all forms of entertainment. I could spend hours in the woods pretending to be an explorer and then go inside to play fashion model dress-up with my sister. As time goes by, I have become so particular. It's too bad, actually. I look around and I see so much to be inspired by. In Los Angeles I can be hypnotized by the street fashion alone and I have to say music is getting more interesting, especially with Pandora and satellite radio so easily available.

I had a conversation last night with a casual friend. It was one of those conversations that make me believe in angels, because the timing is just so perfect. He told me that when you are in a transitionary period it is normal to feel blah but one day, the passion comes back and life is exciting again. I'm skeptical, but I want to believe him. Since I started the transition from legally attached person to liberated adult, I have dealt with a lot of ups and downs. I have weeks where I write 2 blog posts and melodies jump out of my head and onto the piano and I feel enthusiastic about life and the future. But then there are weeks when I have to remember that eating is necessary for human survival and that even though it seems like a burden, sleep is important too.

Something happened a few days ago. I was singing and David was in the other room. He told me that something was changing in my voice. It was hitting a nerve in him that felt different from before. I can feel it too. My voice is growing up and I can feel that the pain of a dramatic life transition is finally fading away. If my life were a movie, I think this would be the part when the musician finally begins to get crazy productive again, discovering singing techniques that had been difficult before and becoming confident in ways she never imagined. Of course, that is *if* my life were a movie, because right now I am just sitting in a Starbucks listening to the new Feist album, trying to get some inspiration.

I seriously hope this transition moves quickly. Lack of blog inspiration is definitely equal to lack of songwriting inspiration. See you guys soon?


  1. I've been there. Inspiration will come back, but at its own time. At those times I like to explore the creativity of others. Become a student of the way they create.

  2. Thanks, idea. That is a good idea. I'm listening to a lot of NPR right now, getting inside the heads of others.